Don’t Be Scared, Its About Time

Inspired By: Memories

There is the way that it mushes into the back of your skull and the farther it gets away it rots. Or what about how it changes shape every time you touch it. So you stop touching it and then start grasping at the shadow, but that is quickly going away too. And so now the shadow of the shadow is all you have left. Eventually you will try to stop reaching for it and it will fade away. 

I Lost Time

It moved so fast, my eyes slowly shut like I was headed off to sleep and when I awoke I was able to decorate my room the way I had wanted to and grow plants without killing them. My body pushes against these developments, pulsing and vibrating when I drink caffeine, so I go on long walks and sometimes the air smells the way that it used to when I was 23, before all of this happened and I had a bunch of roommates and lived in a messy house. No one is around from that time and if they are, they aren’t the same either. It doesn’t seem right that the seasons keep changing and holidays keep happening. Markers of time that fly by as we lay on the sofa, unable to get up.

I had no problem with getting older, or so I thought, I just didn’t want it to happen this way. I thought I would have time to live it out, move with intention and take strides to meet the goals I had set for myself. 

Instead those goals came to me, in a quiet apartment, where I had one roommate and lived in a clean space.